Karolina Rusak » Lost in December Highway

Lost in December Highway

A music-video-poetry piece made as a grief catalyst. Footage taken on 14th December 2022, an hour before the passing.

Icy sting on my right wrist leaves the left wrist longing

As I long for Sundays with you once again

Five clocks chiming bim bam tiktaktiktaktik and the smell

Of your wicked apple pie enters the room.

A dried up crocodile watches atop an oak buffet

but can’t shed tears anymore

So what miracle do I have to conjure up

To spend a Sunday with you again.

The floral engraving under my fingers is missing

Blueberry bushes in your garden have gone to sleep

I ate the whole box of sugar cubes hidden behind medicine

And no one has stopped me

There are no blueberries in December

And there are no miracles in December either

The clocks have gone still a while ago

And there I sit with your cat in my lap

Who looks me in the eye with question.

“Where’s that flat ringing of silver hitting silver?”

I put on the radio for distraction

It chatters and complains and gossips

But not like you would

A parody of your ghost

Poor excuse to smell one of books on your nightstand

Next to porcelain with all the bracelets

Each piece a relic of your soul

Sparkling in the sun

Rising again and again